Just in case you're too busy, or just not on social media, to sum it up, women everywhere are tweeting or posting #MeToo if they have been a victim of sexual assault. (You are then supposed to copy and paste the following quote, so others can follow suit. "If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote "Me too" as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem.")
But not all us can say "Me Too"
I can.... but I can't. I can't because for me, reliving that experience is too painful. I have yet to post #MeToo on ANY of my social media, for fear that it would spark conversations with others regarding that time in my life.
I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT
I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT
It may not be healthy, but I just can't. There is so much going on in my life right now, that I can't let myself feel something that I have worked so hard to push away. I am now a mother with a child that needs me. His emotional well being is often on the brink of disaster and the last thing he needs is a mother in a dark place.
I've buried those memories, and that's where I want to keep them. (And yes, I had therapy for it as a teen. My parents insisted.) But this works for me, and that's okay too.
Even writing this is hard for me. It's dredging up those memories, but in doing so, I hope I'm helping other women, whom feel the same as I do. However, that doesn't mean I want to talk about it. I don't. I have also been avoiding other #MeToo posts because I just can't handle feeling others' pain. And sadly more of my women friends than not, are #MeToo women.
If you are a #MeToo woman, and it's too painful for you to relive, I feel you. I want you to know that it's okay.
My hope is that by writing this, women like me will silently nod, and know it's okay not to tell your truth. (We're thankful that other women are speaking out. Especially for those of us that can't.)
In that respect, I urge other readers, that if they see this shared, don't question the woman whom has shared it.
It just may be that she can't talk about it either. And she shouldn't have to unless she chooses too.