Matter of fact, here's a great example. Last fall Liam was outside playing with his old bike. It's beat up, it's too small for him, and it needs to be junked. You know as well as I do, that our kiddos don't part easily with certain things. Anyway, he was playing with his bike, his father was in the yard preparing it for winter.
Out of nowhere Pita heard, "Hey Liam! The baby called, he wants his bike back!" You see, two neighbor kids were outside, but they didn't know Liam's dad was too. So there they were in the road, behind our car, taunting my son.
Pita came out from around the car. The kid who said that almost peed his pants. Hubby yelled, "I'm sick of you bullying my kid! Who do you think you are?" The other kid that was there (who has bullied Liam several times himself) quickly spoke up. "I didn't say nothing Pat! He told me to get Liam's attention. But I didn't say nothing, I swear!"
The kid who did, hung his head. He knew he had been caught. He also knew that he blew it. He used to play here a lot with Liam. As time went on, he would beat on him, or pick on him when other kids were around. He would knock on our house and run away, and Liam would sit inside crying because all he wanted was a friend to play with.
Now before you say anything, we did go to the parents. MANY times. We all know that kids are often a product of their parents, and this time was no different. The father will just scream and cuss and the mother will swear her child does no wrong.
So, long story short, Pat told this kid he was never welcome here again. He told him Liam needed REAL friends, not bullies. Kid never came back around. Until yesterday. My friend's son whom lives out of town with his dad, came to spend the night with Liam. Bully kid saw him here. He stayed on the outskirts of our yard and told N, "I can't come there, because Liam and I had a fight."
N told me, and I quickly corrected his info and told him what really happened. He just shook his head. Not long after that, bully kid's mom messages Pita. "***** wants to come apologize to Liam, but he's afraid to come over to your house." (name omitted for privacy)
Pita was pissed. He quickly informed the mother of why he had words with her son. He told her he doesn't need to be afraid to come over here. That he is only saying that because he was caught being a bully and was called out on it. Pita informed her of all the other times he bullied Liam and told her that we are done. We don't want Liam to be around kids like that. Her reply.....
"Kids will be kids!"
Really? So because he's a "kid" it's okay for him to verbally harass my child? When he is playing in my yard, minding his own business, it's okay for your child to tease him? It was okay when your son called me a "fat b word," when I reprimanded him for punching Liam in the stomach. It was okay for your son to steal from mine, and blame it on someone else. When you were given proof, you denied it and said, "my son would never steal."
Do you realize you're raising a bully? Let me define that for you, because I have heard you say, "my kid isn't a bully!"
a person who teases, threatens, or hurts smaller or weaker persons <officials were warned that if they wished to avoid a school shooting, they had to deal with the local bullies>
Related Words antagonist, enemy; abuser, baiter, giber (orjiber), harasser, harrier, heckler, mocker, needler,oppressor, persecutor, ridiculer, taunter, tease, teaser,torturer; goon, hood, hoodlum, hooligan, mug, punk, rough,roughneck, rowdy, ruffian, thug, tough, toughie
(definition from Merriam Webster)
I feel terribly that I have to keep children away from my child. After all, in one sense, you're right. They are just kids. BUT, as a parent it's YOUR job to tell you child when they have done wrong. It's YOUR job to raise them to respect adults. To treat others how they want to be treated. To be kind to those who are different.
Please, for the rest of us, don't raise a bully. Raise a kind, caring, loving child. Leave the world with a good person, not someone who will bring others down.