Today I cried... The silent, don't let him see you, kind of cry. Thinking about it now, I still want to cry.
Earlier, an old friend of PITA's stopped in. (We will call him Mr. B) Liam saw that he had a knife on his pocket (like most men in this area do) and was so excited. He's a man's man. He loves to impress the men in his life. So he began the trek from living room to his room and back. He was dragging out all his "bug out bags," camping supplies, and so on.
He was so excited, he was virtually vibrating with energy.
He kept interrupting to get Mr. B's attention and show him each and EVERY thing.... There are a LOT of things! He is a collector of camping/outdoor gear.
<--- seriously though, who could resist this face???
Mr. B was so patient, and so kind. He gave Liam the utmost of his attention. I apologized for Liam's zealousness. He smiled, told me it was fine. I asked Liam to put his stuff away, and clean up his toys. He replied, "I just can't mama! I found another lover of bug out stuff!" And on he went... showing, explaining, pacing.
In that moment, my stomach knotted. Liam had no clue of what was he was doing. No clue that Mr. B really just wanted to visit with his dad. No clue, that he was monopolizing, interrupting, and in an innocent way, being a bit rude.
When Mr. B left and Liam was diligently putting away ALL of his stuff, I cried. Each time he walked into the room, I quick wiped away the tears, and smiled at him. I thanked him for doing such a great job cleaning up. We went about our day.
I spoke about this with PITA tonight. Asked him if he noticed as well. He smiled, and said he did. He commented on how Mr. B was so cool, and gave Liam his attention. Don't get me wrong, that is AWESOME! That makes my heart sing. But the fact that Liam had no clue of his actions broke my heart.
I can't explain why.
I am always so positive about autism, but I would be lying if I didn't say there are some days it gets me down. It punches me in the gut, and takes my breath away. I get up. I move on. He does, and so can I. For him <3