Wednesday, August 14, 2013

First Day Jitters....

  As I see pics of friends' kiddos heading back to school, and I hear about little ones starting kindergarten, I am so happy for them. Yet, for me, it makes me queasy.

You can't tell, but I was scared to death to let him go. (2010)

I remember the tears and the fear in Liam and myself that first day. It was rainy and dreary. My friend brought her kiddos over to wait with Liam for the bus. He was so excited. He danced all over the deck. When he got on the bus, I saw him put his brave face on. I watched as he choked back tears. I too did the same, because I didn't want my baby to see my fear.

Look how happy he was!!! (2010)

He rushed to get on the bus as he fought back his tears (2010)

   I remember waiting impatiently for him to get off the bus. I remember the look in his eyes when he did. I remember how he didn't speak, refused to eat, stared blankly around the room. My heart sinks, I want to vomit.

  He endured school for 4 days. He was placed in the hallway when he couldn't handle the class, the noises, the smells, and so on. At no time was I told. I emailed his teacher on day two. Asked her how it went. Asked her why his shirt was all stretched out around the neck. Why it was soaked. She told me,  "he misses you, that is all." At no time did she tell me he was spending his days in the hall. At no time did she tell me he vomited in the cafeteria and was sent to the nurse. He was sent out of gym, music and art, and only was able to tolerate the library.

  I am sickened. My child was treated like an unwanted animal, and I was none the wiser. I cry, a lot. When I see that teacher in public it is all I can do to refrain from mauling her. My son is terrified of her. He refuses to step foot in schools. He has a hard time coloring because he always remembers how she yelled at him and mocked him in front of a class full of strange kids. Just because he couldn't color in the lines.

   I know I made the right decision to pull him from that hellacious school. It was an easy choice to pull him, but a huge decision to take over his education myself. It has been hard being his teacher and there are days I get so upset, I do raise my voice. I am not perfect, and I will never claim to be. I have learned to walk away, and take a few breaths, and he is learning to do the same. We are learning together.

  I am watching my son flourish. When he aces math with no issues, he beams with pride. When he reads to me (a story of his choosing) he is all smiles. Inside, I am exploding with pride because I taught him that.

   I jest about the choice to home school, because it isn't easy. It's not for the faint of heart. It's not for everyone. For us, it was the only choice, the only way. When people ask me if Liam will ever return to brick and mortar school, I say I hope so. But do I???? Not really. It makes me sick to think about it. It makes him freak out to talk about it. Sure I would love a few hours of peace. But not at the price of my son. He didn't deserve the way he was treated at Northeast Bradford, and I can't and won't make him go through that again. When and if HE decides he wants to try, I will do my best to pave the way for him. Until then, we home school!

Look how happy he is in his personal class room! (this was his first day of school last year) he was counting ALOUD (which means yelling, bc he is so very literal. ( Blurred bc he does school in his underpants!)


Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Anon makes me laugh....

 So the last time I blogged was about the Liebster Award. (I know, I need to blog more, but time, and brain fog that make that impossible.) Anyway, so on that post, someone left my fave comment to date. If you want to read it, CLICK HERE.

 I seriously laughed over this comment. I mean, really? First of all, as someone kindly pointed out to me, what pic was this person trying to steal? I mean, in that post the only pic was the Liebster award one. Secondly this person didn't have the brass tacks enough to comment by name. They hid behind that glorious ANON label. Yet tried calling me out for having made my blog so you can't right click my pics.

 This idiot called me a few things. All of which I am not. Well, all but one. Overprotective. I'll own the shit out of that one! I am a helicopter mother from hell. I won't deny that. Liam is my only kid. I am bound to smother him. He is the kid I wasn't supposed to have. Of course I am going to hover over him. He is MY kid, and if I chose to make it so that his pics can't be right clicked and saved by anyone, that is MY choice.

 When I started blogging I started out without his name or face. After a bit Pita asked me why I was doing that. He thought that parents may relate more to seeing a real face behind the struggles and triumphs. So that is when I decided to share my little man with the world. However, as his mother, it is still my job to protect him. I don't share pics of him unless he is dressed. I don't share pics of him that I wouldn't want to world to see of me. Well, with the exception of swimming pics. No one wants to see me swimming.....

 As for pics/graphics I make. Yes, I have had issues with large pages stealing my pics. Using them for likes. Cropping my name off. I am the first to admit that. But that is NOT why I disabled the right click feature here. You see, on my Legion facebook page, I have control over who is one there. If you're an ass, or rub me the wrong way, bye bye, I ban you,. It's my page after all. However, here, I don't have that control. Anyone and their sicko brother can access this blog. Which is why I am over protective.

 I am guessing Anon isn't a parent. I am guessing anon is a pompous ass. I am thinking anon is one person I know,  in particular. I could sit and assume all day, but let's face it,  why? Who has time for that?  My freshman science teacher teacher said it best when he said, "assume makes an ASS out of U and ME." Amen Mr. Salsman <3

 So no assuming here. Just righteous protection of my greatest creation. My son. If you don't like, don't visit my blog. Oh, and don't vote for me. I won't lose tears over it anon :)

                                                                           ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥