Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Just Because He Speaks....

  Just because he speaks, that doesn't mean our life is an easier. It doesn't always make our life a cake walk. Just because he can speak to me, doesn't mean he can verbalize what he feels. Anger, sadness, and sometimes even happiness can't be verbally expressed by my son. Yeah, of course I can see it on his face, with a smile, or a frown. But if I ask him why he is sad or mad, he can't always express to me why. He can't seem to find the words.

  When he is sick, he can't tell me what's wrong. As a mother, I can look at him and tell when he is sick. I can see it as he is coming down with it. It's a mix of a foggy look in his eyes, to extreme behaviors that he displays. But ask him what hurts, or what feels gross and he can't tell you. His ear drums have perforated and blood has run out of his ears before and he told me he felt fine. It really makes you feel like a POS parent when you take your child  to his ped with blood and pus running out of his ear. Thank God he knows Liam has ASD, and he also knows I am a worry wart mother, so he knows it's not neglect.

  When someone upsets him, not anger wise, but sadness wise, and you ask him why he is sad, he can't tell you. All he will say is, "I'm sad, but my brain can't say why." It's as if it's that word on the tip of your tongue, that you just can't get out. My son suffered a near nervous breakdown almost 3 years ago because of a situation with another child. A situation that happened in a matter of a few moments. A situation I knew nothing about. It took Liam over a year to find those words, and they didn't even come out as words at first. He started crying uncontrollably, a blank, empty stare on his gorgeous, cherub like face. Rocking and head banging non stop and moaning. It took us days to get him to say what had happened. Needless to say it was heartbreaking. The situation was worsened by his Dr. trying him on Tenex at that time, which sent him into even more of a downward spiral. To see your 4 year old on the verge on being admitted to a mental hospital is the scariest thing in the world!

  So you see, just because my son is verbal, just because he has a high vocabulary and understanding of large words, doesn't mean he can express himself any better than a child who hasn't found their words yet.....

 Yet, there are some parents out there that assume that because our children are verbal, that our struggles are not hard. ASD presents itself differently in every child. What comes easy to one, is a struggle for another. The severity of our child's behaviors shouldn't be up for judgement. They should all be accepted and equally embraced. Isn't that what all of us are fighting for? Together, as a united force we are unstoppable. Please don't let the severity of ASD's separate us all. Let ASD bring us together!

Don't let this separate us....we're all in this together <3

                                                                        ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥


  1. I have one non-verbal and one verbal. You nailed this right on the head. Just because they are verbal doesn't mean they are able to express what they are feeling.

  2. It is so hard to see anyone, even strangers struggle. When it is people we love it makes it even worse, our hearts feel broken. We have to put on our camo and fight it because if we just let it go nothing gets accomplished, and nobody gets the help and support they need. The more people fighting to make things better the more good things will happen!

    1. you are very right. we are all Autism warriors :)