Wednesday, December 28, 2011
OCD and my lil Aspie
So last nite before bed, our aspie comes to us and says, "mommy, I am having trouble walking." When asked what he was talking about he replied, "when I walk, I have to back up and do it again, and tell my brain to erase my footsteps." I was shocked! My aspie is 5 and a half, and is like talking to a grown man, but I was more shocked because he seems to be becoming more self aware of his "issues." Hubby and I try not to talk about his obsessions and compulsions in front of him because he is so bright, and we don't want him to pick up on what we say and then do them for attention. (Aspie loves attention!) I was also bothered because it wasn't something I had picked up, and I always notice aspie's quirks, I'm his momma, its my job. As I said before my aspie is a busy body, and seems to be in perpetual motion, which may be why we didn't notice. The fact remains, HE noticed, and it breaks my heart that he has to "tell his brain to erase" anything. The fact that he knows it's his brain telling him to retrace his steps astonishes me and makes my heart wrench. I have been saying I hate not knowing what goes on in his brain, but maybe now, as I am beginning to realize, I hate KNOWING what is going on in his brain. His father and I are against medicating him for any of his "quirks" so I guess this means more research for mommy in ways to help him nip the obsessions and compulsions in the bud, if that is at all possible. I hate feeling like I can't help my baby, its one of the worst feelings in the world!